Monthly Archives: September 2009

London Streatham High Street – Impressions

Posted on Thursday, 17 September, 2009 | Leave a comment

booze

Seriously, what else does one need?

Like @jimmytleach says, “making Streatham look positively exotic”

More great pictures from Susanne Hakuba you find here!

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Posted in Current Affairs, Life

Tagged London

Tech Support

Posted on Wednesday, 16 September, 2009 | 1 Comment

Dunno how many of you know this one already, but I just got this from a friend.

Enjoy And don’t take this too serious.

By the way, the reality looks anyway somewhat different. And as for myself, I am absolutely happy with the current programs installed with the version that decided to stay with me. And vice versa there do not seem to be any complaints about any malfunctions either. I spare you any further details, though.

Here we go.

Installing A Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flowers and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

(and NASCAR 500.0)

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate
————————————-

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘I Thought You Loved Me.exe’ and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 .

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

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Posted in Current Affairs, Life

This is the end

Posted on Tuesday, 15 September, 2009 | Leave a comment

The end of the internet.

internet

You don’t believe me? I am talking bullshit, you say? There is no end of the internet?

Well, then let me translate the screenshot for you, or go here and shoot the text through Google translate.

The internet ends here.

You have come to the very last page of the internet. We hope you enjoyed surfing. Now it is really time that go out and play a little.

Suggestions for what you could do outside:

Walk a little. This means using your legs and moving around in the area. One could even call this taking a walk

Jogg a little. This means using your legs and moving around in the area a bit faster than when one walks. If you jogg fast one calls that running.

Cycle a little and check out the fantastic nature in real 3D! Take a break, leave the bicycle aside and touch the trees and stones.

Should the water in the area where you live be warm, you could also go for a swim. However you should refrain from doing so in case you are not able to swim. Instead you should do something which is called taking a bath.

Visit someone you know.

HTTP 101 – Have a nice day!
Regards from the Internet

Now you maybe believe me. Or you just keep thinking “they are totally nuts, these Swedes. I knew it all along, since my childhood in fact, since the Muppet Show.”

Yeah, you might be right. But as you also might know genious and madness lie very close together.

And isn’t this a damn bloody good idea. In other words – genius?

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Posted in Current Affairs, Life

Tagged internet

The Hierarchy Of Digital Distractions

Posted on Monday, 14 September, 2009 | Leave a comment

via informationisbeautiful.net

Würde dem Ganzen so zustimmen, aber es könnten noch Ergänzungen vorgenommen werden. Beispielsweise diverse Twitter-/ SocialMedia-Applikationen, die einem zeigen, wieviele Nachrichten bzw. welche und von wem gerade hereinkommen. Sollte man mit in “Automatic/ Reflexive”aufnehmen.

Ein sehr schöner persönlicher Ablenkungsfaktor ist dabei für mich stets Twhirl.
Manchmal ist “Actual kind of work” aber tatsächlich so einnehmend, dass ich den erscheinenden Tooltip mit neuen Messages nicht wahrnehme. Kommt auch vor. Oft sogar. Vor allem dann, wenn tatsächlich persönliche Messages dabei sind .

(Danke an Michael Genova http://twitter.com/genova/statuses/3976517176 für die Inspiration zu diesem Mini-Post.)

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Posted in Current Affairs, Life

Tagged digital

Montagmorgen mit Fahrrad

Posted on Monday, 14 September, 2009 | Leave a comment

Mal abgesehen davon, dass ich mich mehr oder weniger immer noch in der typischen “Montagmorgenaufwachphase” befinde, habe ich heute früh auf dem Weg zum Zug doch mal wieder was erlebt.

Ich schließe also mein Fahrrad an und höre so mit einem Ohr wie eine Dame sich beklagt, dass jemand ein Kinderfahrrad an ihres angeschlossen hätte. Wie bescheuert und ist das denn, dachte ich. Aber es kommt noch besser. Während ich also mit meinen beiden Schlössern herumfummle, ruft die Dame bei der Polizei an und erzählt, dass sie soeben ihr gestohlenes (!!) Fahrrad an der Zugstation gefunden hat, und dass sie dieses nun nicht mitnehmen kann, da ein Kinderfahrrad an dieses angeschlossen sei. Hammer, oder? Wenn man sich einmal überlegt, was das für ein Montagmorgen für die gute Frau war?

Kommentar meiner besseren Hälfte zu der oben geschilderten Aktion: “Hmm, wahrscheinlich gestohlen und auf Blocket.se verkauft.” OK, und wenn das so war, wie wird dann die Person gucken, die unter Umständen später nur noch das Kinderfahrrad vorfinden wird? Die ruft dann wahrscheinlich auch bei der Polizei an und meldet ihr Rad als gestohlen… Würde mich ja sehr interessieren, der Ausgang dieser Geschichte.

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Posted in Current Affairs, Life

Tagged Montag